The importance of standing up for yourself and learning from your mistakes

John Hoskison visited QEH’s sixth form pupils this week to teach them some valuable life lessons and the importance of learning from your mistakes.

Throughout John’s childhood, he felt as though he was always expected to be bright and more intelligent than he felt that he was. He was bullied at school and felt inadequate and unable to stand up for himself. Despite John not wanting to, his parents pushed him to go to college at the age of 16 to take his A-levels early. When John’s teacher declared that he was not going to achieve the academic results his parents wanted, they got angry and he ran away.

Following this, at the age of 16, he decided that he wanted to take up a different path to an academic one. John instead followed his skills in golfing in an attempt to rebuild his confidence and wanted to become a professional golfer. After begging another professional golfer for help and agreeing to work in their golf shop in exchange for lessons, a year later John was entered into his first European tour.

Regardless of the success of entering the European tour, John’s courage failed him when he saw the professionals that he was up against. He felt his shoulders draw forward and he thought to himself; “there is no way I can compete against these guys, they are too good.” With his negative attitude and lack of self-belief, John came last in every game.

Once again, John felt inadequate and unable to stand up to anything or anyone. In his time of despair after realizing that he was in real trouble, he followed some advice that his history teacher had once given him at school. His teacher had said that no battle can be won with a plan A, it comes down to the readiness of plan B and C to be implemented. John needed a plan B and C.

Instead of focusing on his strengths he then turned to improving his weaknesses, including not letting fear affect his body language and working on his time management. John developed his own plan B and C, decided to learn something and have another go.

He started improving and succeeding in golfing competitions, he found a job in retail, and he also became the face of a golfing club. He learnt the importance of learning from your failures and persevering. With the help of his boss, John was able to shape himself an amazing future and felt indebted to his boss for providing him with these opportunities.

John was then invited by his boss to attend a social golfing, John had wanted to decline due to his busy schedule but decided that he should pay his thanks and debts to his boss so went along. After the game, John was invited to have a drink with them. Again he wanted to say no as he knew he would have to drive home, but he still felt like he owed his boss and that it would be embarrassing and awkward to decline.

John did not like confrontation. John drank. John drove and killed a cyclist on his way home.

John served a three year sentence in prison for one mistake. He has since lived life frustrated that he did not stand up for himself throughout his life, not even when it was the most important time too.

After receiving a letter from the widowed wife of the cyclist, John was granted forgiveness for his onetime mistake. He went to prison with a positive outlook hoping to rehabilitate himself and improve himself and use the time to learn new things. However, John had an insight into the reality of life behind bars and lived his time there in fear. Everyday John saw so much violence. His friend whom he wrote to enrolled John into a journalism course to keep him distracted which encouraged him to write an article on life in prison which was later published.

Students were shocked by John’s sheer honesty but grateful to the wisdom he imparted on them. John had wished someone had told him the importance of standing up for yourself, and having a plan B and C ready to help you achieve your goals.

A huge thank you to John Hoskison for speaking to our sixth formers and sharing such valuable information.